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[19 Sep 2003|05:17pm] |
School today wasn't all that bad. It was better than wednesday and thursday because I was feeling all nonconfident and shit like that. Sometimes I just feel like everyone deserves more than me, is better at doing things than me, is smarter than me and looks better, etc. I'm really paranoid because I always think people are talking about me or something.
I went to school an hour early so I could drop accounting, the most boring class ever with some bullshit excuse like "it's not in the path of my current career choice". so now i have a spare in 3rd and an extra long lunch. Go me!
Second period, I got all shy and blushing around Scott, the guy who knows Dashboard Confessional, Get Up Kids and all that.. and actually listens to it, that's only the 2nd guy I know that likes DC, and now I have a crush on him. He's in grade 12. You would never know he likes emo.
Third, was boring and I didn't do anything, I just read my Stephen King novel and blocked out everyone else. Umm.. A girl fell off her chair twice and that's all that was interesting.
ok so my school days are boring. i think i have like 2 personalities, but you'd have to know me well for me to reveal the second which is totally opposite of the "school me" which most people know, uptight, aloof all that shit. yes i know what people say about me believe it or not its to protect myself or something. i hate it, my friend was like,"So change." it's really hard to. This way of overdefensive thinking has been ingrained in me since I was in grade five and sucididal, cutting, stuff like that. I think it's a defense mechanism.
the second is my fave, i like to think of it as the real me. god i sound schizo or something. i'm not shy at all, loud, i'm funner etc.
it's like extremes but hey thats me!
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[22 Aug 2003|06:48am] |
Iaven't been updating this as much as I should... Things that are new:
I spent a month in CL.
I'm at my mom's sister's daughter's boyfriend, with my one of my best friends, the sister's daughter's daughter. I'm going to ..Canoe Lake tomorrow, if my mom can fork over 15$ for a bus ticket. it feels sooo gooood to have money finally.
I went shopping! lYkE yEaH! ...
...
I bought mavi cords $38, a kinky joe tshirt $20, blue sweat pant-thingers $2, and these cute skeleton socks for $10. ohyes I won $20 at bingo last night too! But I spent all of it to eat at to get downtown...
soyes that was my weeked.
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[13 Jul 2003|09:53am] |
ahhhhhhh! my finger hurts like hell. i hope it's not .. ARTHRITIS! I think I'll take a few tylenol.
You know what I'm jonesing for? Another wild night. You know the kind. you do all sorts of shit and wake up in a cell. Okay, not that wild, but you know. Just one with me and my boys'n'girls on the town or at someones house. haha, the type of night that you would snort right in the middle of downtown in front of a club. god i miss kalle. and everyone else.
SORRY FOR BEING A ROTTEN FRIEND. hey I promise to call, Nadz...
CURRENT AILMENTS: (I have to see a Dr about these)
Arthritis finger
heart pains
difficulty sleeping
anxiety attacks
I wonder what kind of drugs I can get for those.
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[04 Jul 2003|07:05am] |
My summer has just been one looooong boring weekend day. I'm itching for July 18th to come, so I can finally visit my dear old friends that I've missed so.
I haven't talked to anyone outside my family (not including online) since the 1st when we went to Diefenbaker Centre for Canada Day. I'm keeping track. I bet I could last until the 18th because my friends here.. are not good friends, and I know its partly my fault.
I miss CL. I miss it because everyone was so close, mainly because there was no-one to be distant with. There were a lot of fights, yeah. But that's normal, right? I like it because it's the type of town you could go to 7-11 at 3 am and see someone from your class, and just hang out with them for a few hours. On a school night. People are laid back there about most things. Oh yes, there's also the LAKE. A ton (like, 3) of my friends live by that lake. It's awesome and holds quite a few memories.
Like glitter-frozen icicles and running fast, (then slipping) and ice fishing, and melting, melting. crushed snow > wet snowball fights. swimming in the summer, learning how to punch on the giant rocks. secrets sharhed. AND all that good clean fun stuff.
But there are steamy parts as well as some things that could potentially get me into trouble. I'll save you and not go into detail. ;)
But yeah. This is my rambling. It's 7:05 am, Friday morning, and I fell asleep at 4 am.
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[23 Jun 2003|01:43pm] |
Yes, I know I'm horrible at choosing color combinations that match well. >_< Just don't laugh at it's suckage, mmkay?
Recent events that may interest you:
-my brother knocked out the screen from our window.. he hung hangers in a little rope like thing all the way down to 1st floor. (we're on 4th). '
-i talked to Nadine last night and she seemed in a state of shock about the "future" pic on my website. (which features ..blood! GASP!)
-I SKIPPED AN EXAM. I don't even know why.
EDIT// I passed. The exam I didn't go to was Christian Ethics, but as far as I know it's not required to graduate from a public high school. Actually, I did pass. I got 50 percent.
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[22 Jun 2003|11:36am] |
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Disturbed- Down With the Sickness |
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Well, hey everyone... this is my first entry here! Here's a questionnaire all 'bout moi!
From Tammie.
LAYER ONE:
-- Name: ;D
-- Birthdate: 10/05/88
-- Birthplace: Saskatoon, SK
-- Current Location: Edmonton, AB
-- Eye Color: dark brown
-- Hair Color: dark brown
-- Height: 5'6"
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: Almost 100% Native Canadian. I think there is some Danish in me. Haha!
-- The shoes you wore today: my adidas mirror shoes!
-- Your weakness: *darts eyes*
-- Your fears: i hate looking down from high places and seeing things no one else can (not that that has ever happened...)
-- Your perfect pizza: extra cheesy, with just just-right amount of spices, and stuffed crust
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Be a succesful psychiatrist with a good family.
LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: lol
-- Your thoughts first waking up: "Nooo, don't wanna get up"
-- Your best physical feature: Eyes or legs. or feet and hands!
-- Your bedtime: weekdays-1 am weekends- 4 am
-- Your most missed memory: happy times with my whole fam
LAYER FOUR:
-- Soda: pepsi
-- Fast Food Joint: the classic, mcdonald's
-- Single or group dates: single I guess
-- Adidas or Nike: don't care
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: NESTEA!!!!!!!! but lipton has a nice edge. Brisk leaves a dry aftertaste in your mouth.. O yeah, I'm the iced tea conoisseur.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: CHOCOLATE (ph34r the chocoholic)
-- Cappuccino or coffee: french vanilla coffee
LAYER FIVE:
-- smoke: meh.
-- Cuss: I like to say I don't, just to see the look on people's faces.
-- Sing: at home, but then my voice gets tired..
-- Take a shower every day: yeah sometimes twice or 6 times.. if it's been a dirty day *wink*
-- Have a crush(es): yess. too many.
-- Do you think you've been in love: I don't like to get too involved in relationships.
-- Want to go to college: yes
-- Like high school: NO.
-- Want to get married: If I do, I only want 10 ppl MAX there.
-- Believe in yourself: hahaha no.
-- Get motion sickness: depends on the altitude
-- Think you're attractive: a little.. but not really.
-- Think you're a health freak: " " "
-- Get along with your parents: um. no.
-- Like thunderstorms: t-storms are awesome
-- Play an instrument: Guitar.. and an xlyophone I think
LAYER SIX:
In the past month . . .
-- Drank alcohol: once
-- Smoked: twice
-- Done a drug: just lots of tylenol...
-- Had sex: no
-- Made out: no =P
-- Gone on a date: no
-- Gone to the mall?: yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: eeewww
-- Eaten sushi: no
-- Been on stage: no
-- Been dumped: no
-- Gone skating: no
-- Made homemade cookies: no
-- Gone skinny dipping: in the bathtub?
-- Dyed your hair: yes. black black black
-- Stolen anything: no
LAYER SEVEN:
Ever . . .
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes. in grade 5. in the middle of a field LOL
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: *cough* yes
-- Been caught ?doing something?: no
-- Been called a tease: no
-- Gotten beaten up: yes..... I WAS YOUNG AND WEAK!
-- Shoplifted: yup
-- Changed who you were to fit in: what the hell? NO.
LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: 26
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2 kids, Eden and Eve. or if boys, Jake and Azrael.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: small
-- How do you want to die: peacefully of old age in my sleep
-- Where you want to go to college: anywhere but here
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: Graphic Designer or Psychiatrist
-- What country would you most like to visit: JAPAN! or Italy.
LAYER NINE:
In a guy/girl . . .
-- Best eye color? light brown or green
-- Best hair color? black or *dyed* blonde
-- Short or long hair: short or really looong dreads or braids
-- Height: taller than me
-- Best weight: cut - thin but muscular
-- Best articles of clothing: t shirt and shorts or pants.
-- Best first date location: movies at their house
-- Best first kiss location: indoors or outside in a park
LAYER TEN:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 5
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: like, two
-- Number of CDs that I own: 200+
-- Number of piercings: 2
-- Number of tattoos: 2
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Twice, both before age 10. I used to model.
-- Number of scars on my body: lots. too many to count.
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: A lot.
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